Monday, July 12, 2010

Oh Happy Day!

You can only imagine my excitement when my favorite blogger, Aunt Becky of Mommy Wants Vodka, became a follower of MY BLOG! So, as of now, it's just you and me Becky. And, let's not be coy here, I have never been one of the cool kids so this just makes my day. (Nerd alert). So here's to my new Internet friend; Becky-may you marry Doctor House and Dexter in a three-way wedding extravaganza chock full of The Awesome, while on the family reunion cruise with vodka flowing from the rafters and may I be there to video tape the whole thing.


So, today on my way to work I decided to run by Whole Foods to pick up a salad because...well, I totally pigged out this morning after work. To write and publish exactly what I consumed (aka crammed into my already-stuffed-full-of-food mouth) would be quite an embarrassment and I would probably get an anonymous email about the dangers of binge-eating and how, as a nurse, I should know better (yeah right).

Also, let's get one things straight right off the bat; I am a nervous eater. When I am stressed out, I find comfort in food. Probably not healthy, but hey. When things are very bad, I lose all appetite, but when I'm moderately stressed out, I go straight for the good stuff. Thank the lord that I have a somewhat capable metabolism, or I would be a giant heifer by now, waddling the streets looking for my next victim (probably a delicious burrito who would be comically cowering in the corner of a deserted alley). But, I digress.

So, rewind back to Whole Foods. I pick out my salad, get some other healthy stuff to eat at work, and make my way to the bakery section (of course). See, I have an excuse because it is my coworkers birthday in a few days and, hello, I have to get him something. I spotted some delicious looking petit fours and waited for the guy behind the counter to come over and help me. Bakery guy comes over and I ask him to for a couple petit fours (which, P.S., if you have never tried petit fours, get off your ass and go find some, they are like a foodgasm in the mouth).

The guy kinda stares and me and then starts packing them up. While he's doing this, I finally get a good look at him; it's my ex-boyfriend. My high school sweetheart, my puppy-loving, virginity-losing, good-memories-and-tears-all-dumped-into-one guy. "Oh my god, it's you!" I said to him. Smooth, I know.

Then came the awkward "How've you been, what's up, how's your family" small talk. The obligatory "we should hang out sometime" was thrown into the mix. I feel like I should add that I haven't seen this dude in years and he inexplicably stopped talking to me altogether a few years ago, after we had been friends for awhile and on good yeah, a little extra awkward.

The small talk ended, and I turned to leave. I imagined him watching me as I walked away, so I had to be cool about it. Even though I wasn't wearing any makeup, I had my hair in a ponytail, and I was in OR scrubs, I thought I looked sufficient enough. Kind of. I put my sunglasses on and walked straight out the door without looking back. When I was a few steps out of the door, I realized that I took my entire basket of groceries with me, and the petit fours, without paying for any of it. I whirled around and ran back in to pay, but I'm pretty sure he saw me because the bakery counter is right next to the exit.

Ex-boyfriend: 1
Me: 0

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