So, apparently my blog has been hacked and deleted. Thanks a lot. That's ok, this seems like a good day for new beginnings. I don't know if there is something in the air, or if it is just a bad luck year, but I have experienced and heard about so many deaths this year. It's like 2008 all over again...
Some are tragic deaths too, not only old age. Of my family, friends, and friends of friends, There have been 6 old age/chronic illness deaths, 2 tragic overdoses, and 1 accidental drowning. People are dying too young, and leaving us here heartbroken and left to pick up the pieces. I am no stranger to death, but this is one of those years that makes me realize just how mortal we all are. We are so fragile, and sometimes there is nothing that one can do, not any number of compressions, or begging or bargining, that will change the outcome of the situation. We are left with our memories and our guilt. Guilt that we didnt try just a little bit harder, that we didnt call that day, that we havent talked in years, that we couldnt revive a corpse. Its not rightful guilt, but guilt is guilt.
Death often times forces us out of our comfort zone. It forces us to move on and to pick up and keep moving the best we can. Some days, maybe, it will be hard to get out of bed. Some days it will be hard to do anything. But, like any big chance, death can also be a new beginning. It can push us into the difficult and often overlooked task of taking life one day at a time. Figuring out what we really want. It puts things into perspective, and changes the rest of our lives. We are shaped by the deaths of our loved ones. Although they are gone, they are never really gone. The memories that we keep shape that person into a new part of our lives. Nobody is really dead until they are forgotten, and nobody is forgotten as long as we hold them in our hearts.
I wish things weren't so difficult sometimes.
Rest in Peace.