Monday, June 10, 2013

My Pathetic Blog: The Sequel You Never Wanted to See Happen

...And by "you" of course, I mean my imagination (because I am the only person who reads this stupid thing).  But if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times; my sole purpose on the internet is to entertain myself (and occasionally to google pictures of terrible infectious diseases of the genitals-for work of course-but that also kind of doubles as entertainment).

So here we are again, dear voices in my head, writing our blog.  Ahhh, blog.  Web log.  Captain's log, if you will.  For I am the captain of this ship called the H.M.S. Boredom currently sailing the high blustery seas of Insanity.  The sea is a cruel mistress.

Anyway, remember that terribly butthurt post that I wrote a few years ago?  You know? This one? Also, remember that guy? The one that became my boyfriend? Well that butt hurt post was about him.  The night I met him I came home and typed my disappointment into my "blog" (I might as well have been blasting Dashboard Confessional and layering on some bad eyeliner) about how he didn't ask for my number or even acknowledge me as I left the party except for a half-hearted wave goodbye.

Well, I ended up marrying that dude.  He still hasn't figured out I'm off my rocker.  Maybe he will start reading the blog and then he will know.

So realistically, this will be my GREAT TRIUMPHANT BLOG UPDATE OF 2013 and then I wont write in it again for a year and a half, but here's to hoping I will FINALY get my shit together (I've been saying that for years, I don't think it will ever happen).

So for now, I'm heading off to another work week where I handle people's infected junk all day (literally) and try to get the kids to use some fucking condoms for once.

Adios for now