Well, since this is MY blog (ha) and I am in charge of what goes down here, I've decided to use this as my personal log for the 24 Day Challenge that I am currently taking on.
"A challenge?" you ask. "Yes." I say to you.
So basically this challenge was brought to my attention one night about a week ago at roller derby practice (got the shit kicked out of me btw). Our team's new community partner is Advocare, a company that specializes in vitamins, supplements, and weight loss products (among other things). So, long story short, the Advocare rep explained the products, including this "challenge" and mentioned that we get a discount since we are in cahoots with them (I am so happy that I am able to use the word "cahoots").
So basically, the challenge consists of a 10 day "cleanse" period, in which fiber drinks, supplements, vitamins, and probiotics are taken-in addition to "clean eating" i.e. no wheat, dairy, fried food, refined sugar, simple carbs, alcohol...you know, all the good stuff. Then days 11-24 include more vitamins and supplements, amino acids etc.
So, I immediately thought to myself, "This is for me!"
Now, let me stop you right here for a minute. For those of you who know me personally, you may have realized by now that I am not overweight, and this is basically a weight loss challenge. I can hear the gears turning already. Let me just give you the lowdown; straight from the horse's mouth:
I am not doing this challenge to lose weight. I don't think that I need to lose weight.
So why do it? I'm glad you asked. Here's why I am doing it:
For far too long (over a year at this point) my health habits have deteriorated dramatically. Thank goodness for roller derby, because before that, I stopped giving a fuck about exercise. Along with grad school and the crazy ups and downs I've had during the past year, I have also stopped giving a fuck about my health.
I have never been too much of a drinker (I indulge from time to time, but nothing crazy), nor have I ever taken drugs on a regular basis. I don't smoke, I am not a coffee addict.
My drug is food. I am embarrassed at how much I use food to deal with my emotions. And while I have gained about 15lbs over the past year (yes, I was quite small...and it is honestly a Christmas miracle that I haven't gained more) the weight gain isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is the way that my body feels now compared to the way I felt before I let this happen.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love good food and I feel that there is no problem indulging in treats every once in awhile. However, it has gotten to the point where close to everyday I was binging on things like fast food, cake, pie, frozen pizzas, hot pockets, cupcakes, bacon...you name it. And I'm not talking about regular eating. I'm talking about stress eating. Even when I wasn't hungry. It felt so good to stuff myself until I could no longer think about work, or school, or family issues. Food is comfort.
My family has struggled with issues of food addiction, and I've watched my overweight father eat an entire bucket of fried chicken and a box of a dozen doughnuts while writing his dissertation. As his blood pressure and weight skyrocketed, he knew that he needed to make a change. He joined weight watchers, dropped the weight and leads a very healthy lifestyle now. He goes to the gym almost every day, eats fruits and veggies and lean protein and has never felt better.
As my dad became healthier, I began to fall into his old patterns. If I had a bad day at work, I would drive straight to McDonald's and go through the drive through. I would devour my food in the parking lot in my car. If it was a really bad day, I would go through the drive through again and get more food. If I was writing a particularly difficult paper in school, I'd make a pizza and eat the whole thing. Then have ice cream for dessert. This had become a regular thing. And then on top of all this, I would go to work and tell my patients how to eat right and exercise.
What a hypocrite I had become. I felt terrible about this. And guilty.
I feel tired, I feel sluggish, I feel depressed; not sad..but like someone just let the air out of me, I feel run down, I feel unhealthy.
This is why I am doing the challenge. I'm sure I will lose some weight, but I need to do this to be healthy. To get back on track and to lead the type of lifestyle that I want to lead. I need to do this to get my energy back. I want to kick people's ass on the roller derby track instead of just getting my ass kicked. I want to be a good example to my patients and to my family and friends, and someday to my children.
So there. That's the scoop. I am very excited to be eating and feeling better. And since I have such terrible willpower right now, I am so happy to have a structured challenge that tells me exactly what I have to do. I think that this is just what I need right now.
So, I think that this "blog" (my blog is basically a joke if you have read any of the other postings) is a good place for me to track my progress and hopefully insert a little lighthearted comedy into this situation (lord knows we could all use some of that!).
So on that note, I will be moving on to DAY ONE (cue dramatic music).
2 years ago