Dear First Week of Grad School,
Listen, I understand that you are for "smart" people who are "critical thinkers" and all that crap, but let's just take this one step at a time. I am invested in this relationship, and I'm totally willing to meet you halfway on issues that are important to you, but I've gotta be honest here; you are making me crazy. You need to communicate, grad school, or I will have no idea what you are trying to get across to me. EVER.
It's not that I don't find you sexy, I do. It's simply the fact that you are kind of an asshole. I don't really have much more to say to you at this point other than the fact that you need to shape up, because I don't have any anti-anxiety medication and frankly, I'm already teetering on the brink of madness.
I know we both kind of rushed into this, but I know we can make each other happy in the long run.
Thank you for your time, and for my student loan check,
P.S. Check me out over at Mushroom Printing, where I've posted and oldie but a goody...well sort of.