Meltdown

Ok I'm having a meltdown. I don't know how I'm going to get through grad school. Financially, emotionally, mentally, physically. What have I done??? Why on earth did I decide to apply to this program this year. I should have waited another year or couple years. Then I could have gotten my shit together. I could have saved up some money and been stable. I could have not had all the emotional shit that this year brought upon me.

I'm going to need a fricken bottle of horse tranquilizers to get through this, I swear. It's become almost a nightly thing, this crazy panicky feeling. Its not quite a panic attack, but it will be. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. Every time I sit down to just organize my study schedule or try to figure out due dates for these ridiculous assignments, it takes hours and my brain ends up going into overload. I haven't even done any REAL homework or studying. I'm still just desperately trying to get my shit together.

In other news, I'm being completely and totally outwitted by the mouse that is loose in my apartment. The damn thing is still here somewhere. I've named him Alfredo. I bought a real mousetrap at the hardware store today so I'm crossing my fingers (it won't kill him, just trap him).

Alfredo: 1
Grad Student Who Desperately Needs Some Xanax: 0


This is the worst.