My Pathetic Blog: The Sequel You Never Wanted to See Happen

...And by "you" of course, I mean my imagination (because I am the only person who reads this stupid thing).  But if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times; my sole purpose on the internet is to entertain myself (and occasionally to google pictures of terrible infectious diseases of the genitals-for work of course-but that also kind of doubles as entertainment).

So here we are again, dear voices in my head, writing our blog.  Ahhh, blog.  Web log.  Captain's log, if you will.  For I am the captain of this ship called the H.M.S. Boredom currently sailing the high blustery seas of Insanity.  The sea is a cruel mistress.

Anyway, remember that terribly butthurt post that I wrote a few years ago?  You know? This one? Also, remember that guy? The one that became my boyfriend? Well that butt hurt post was about him.  The night I met him I came home and typed my disappointment into my "blog" (I might as well have been blasting Dashboard Confessional and layering on some bad eyeliner) about how he didn't ask for my number or even acknowledge me as I left the party except for a half-hearted wave goodbye.

Well, I ended up marrying that dude.  He still hasn't figured out I'm off my rocker.  Maybe he will start reading the blog and then he will know.

So realistically, this will be my GREAT TRIUMPHANT BLOG UPDATE OF 2013 and then I wont write in it again for a year and a half, but here's to hoping I will FINALY get my shit together (I've been saying that for years, I don't think it will ever happen).

So for now, I'm heading off to another work week where I handle people's infected junk all day (literally) and try to get the kids to use some fucking condoms for once.

Adios for now

A brief (or probably long) intermission from hot dog day stories

I have just officially finished the first semester of grad school. Jim Beam and I are going to be very happy together for the next couple of hours. I decided today that it was time for us to move past our rough times...I mean that was what, 10 years ago? I think that we are both adults here and can get along just fine after getting to know a little bit more about ourselves over the years.

That being said, it's time to PARTY!!! I still have work in the morning, so the party won't really start until tomorrow night, but the mental party has already started. And by mental party, of course I mean insanity.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have some private time with Mr. Beam.

I Ate Grad School

Or, rather, I wish I could eat grad school. This would accomplish many things...namely a)grad school would be gone and b) maybe my ridiculous hunger would be satisfied.

I literally don't know what's wrong with me, but I have just had INSATIABLE hunger allllll day long. Like, no joke. The amount of food I've consumed today is not only embarrassing, but probably also unhealthy. I blame hormones.

In addition to being a fat lazy slob for most of the day, my motivation, as always, is hanging by a thread. I need to go get hypnotized into just doing work and not caring...kind of like Office Space but backwards. Can't wait til winter break...maybe this time I'll finally get my shit together...

Long and Hard...My upcoming week that is, not my penis

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Humans RULE

Well, you will all be happy to know that I HAVE CAPTURED THE MOUSE! Alfredo, that is. So it looks like the scoreboard is now Alfredo: 1 Angela:1. So, I guess it ended up a tie. But really, I won because obviously I displayed my superior brain power and kicked that fool into submission.

Actually, I was very kind to him, so yeah...he kinda owes me one. I mean, I didn't kill him. I paid 13 bucks for a "live trap" instead of like a dollar for the stereotypical mouse trap that supposedly snaps their little necks (poor mousy!). When I first saw him in the trap, I thought he was dead. It would have been terribly ironic. He was stuck in the little entrance to the trap and wasn't moving, no matter how much I shook the trap around. I figured that maybe he choked on the peanut butter or something. I couldn't see his face, but I was like 99% sure he was dead.

So, next was the unpleasant job of removing a dead mouse from the trap. I reopened the trap to assess the situation before I pulled him out, and there was Alfredo, alive and well and starting right at me. This of course merited a scream of surprise from me (I am NOT afraid of mice people, I am just kind of a jumpy person. I wasn't expecting him to be alive!). So, I closed the trap and brought it outside.

I opened the trap and turned it upside down and gently tried to shake him out into the bushes. Well apparently he found the trap to be a comfortable little home so he didn't want to budge. He dug his little claws into the holes in the entrance of the trap and would not be removed. I shook a little harder. Nothing. The guy was tenacious. This went on for about 5 minutes, and then I decided I was just going to slap on some of those yellow rubber dish washing gloves and grab him out. I was shaking the trap pretty hard at this point and I didn't want the guy to stroke out. I mean, I bought the live trap for a reason. We already had a couple of close calls.

After donning the ridiculous gloves, I ran back outside with the trap, Alfredo hanging on for dear life. Some neighbors who were walking their dog stopped to watch the show (thanks guys). I decided to give the trap one more little shake before reaching in to get him. I shook once, hard, the way you shake a ketchup bottle to get all the ketchup to the bottom.

That did the trick. Alfredo lost his footing and spatted out onto the ground. He looked up at me, stunned, and sprinted onto my shoe. I, of course, screamed loudly at being startled by Alfredo once again, kicking him off of my shoe and tossing him into a soft nearby bush while simultaneously throwing the metal mousetrap into the air where it landed next to me with a loud clang. My neighbors laughed, their dog barking and howling with the commotion.

But hey, I caught him right?
So, clearly, I am the superior species.

Meltdown

Ok I'm having a meltdown. I don't know how I'm going to get through grad school. Financially, emotionally, mentally, physically. What have I done??? Why on earth did I decide to apply to this program this year. I should have waited another year or couple years. Then I could have gotten my shit together. I could have saved up some money and been stable. I could have not had all the emotional shit that this year brought upon me.

I'm going to need a fricken bottle of horse tranquilizers to get through this, I swear. It's become almost a nightly thing, this crazy panicky feeling. Its not quite a panic attack, but it will be. Maybe tomorrow, maybe the next day. Every time I sit down to just organize my study schedule or try to figure out due dates for these ridiculous assignments, it takes hours and my brain ends up going into overload. I haven't even done any REAL homework or studying. I'm still just desperately trying to get my shit together.

In other news, I'm being completely and totally outwitted by the mouse that is loose in my apartment. The damn thing is still here somewhere. I've named him Alfredo. I bought a real mousetrap at the hardware store today so I'm crossing my fingers (it won't kill him, just trap him).

Alfredo: 1
Grad Student Who Desperately Needs Some Xanax: 0


This is the worst.

Vacation

I am officially leaving for vacation in one week, and I cannot wait. It's not a glamorous vacation to, say, the Cayman Islands, but I'm excited nonetheless. Every year, since as long as I can remember (and even before that), my family has rented a cabin in a little place called Strawberry, California. And by little I mean population, like, 150. My mom's family has been going to Strawberry since she was little. In fact, my parents took their pregnancy test right there in the cabin that produced yours truly.

So, in Strawberry, it's my extended family taking up about 2 cabins, and some close family friends (all three generations each) taking up 2 more cabins, and then another family that we met at Strawberry many years ago in 1 cabin. We pretty much take over. There is a river, horseshoes, campfire area, and trails, and a pool that I love to hang out at and read/swim laps. Then, about a mile down the mountain is Pinecrest Lake, where we go almost everyday for hiking, kayaking, and swimming.

The smell of the pine trees is already luring me in. I went to the library today and picked up my giant nerd-sized pile of books to read by the pool/ on the porch as I laze about and soak up some rays....ohhh yeahhh.

So now the only thing is that I need to do like a million things before I leave so that when I come back, I won't be as overwhelmed (haha yeah right). I do always like to come home to a clean apartment though, and I got lots of errands to do/buisiness to take care of for school.

Not on vacation yet! I gotta get back to work...