Hot Dog Day Part Deux

I've decided that my hot dog day follies are going to become a series. Enjoy part deux. It is my favorite of the series, and I hope it becomes yours too.

You may enjoy part one here

The second hot dog incident was worse than the first one. I was in first grade. Same love for hot dog day, same dumb jumper and knee socks. My class had just finished a rousing game of kickball, when I realized that I really needed to pee. "I better go RIGHT NOW", I thought "Or I won't get a good spot in the hot dog line!" Well, right then, the bell rang. The bell signifying that it was time. Hot dog time, mothafuckers. I happened to be very close to the Almighty Hot Dog Room, and I could see the other kids running at full speed towards me with reckless abandon. I couldn't go pee now. I had made a choice. I was going to be, like, the 3rd person in the hot dog line! That had never happened to me! Oh happy day! I got in line, and noticed that my urge to urinate was becoming a border-line emergency. The hot dog gals were taking FOREVER setting up the stations. I waited for like 5 minutes in line, and then it happened. I peed. In my jumper. In the Hot Dog Room. In line. I immediately ran out before anyone had noticed what had happened and straight to the office.

I didn't want to admit to the office lady that I had peed my pants, but I didn't really have a choice. Time was ticking and the hot dogs were getting cold. I whimpered and looked pathetic and asked to call my mom for a new jumper (it was pretty obvious what had gone down). Now, here's the weird part. Instead of just calling my mom and getting me a fresh pair of undies from home (no, no...that would be TOOOO easy!) the office lady suggested that I try on one of the pairs of underwear that she had "just lying around the office"

ok...

There are multiple things that concerned me here. Namely; 1) why the hell were pairs of underwear just LYING around in the school office and B) why were there MULTIPLE pairs?

What the hell?

Even as a 6 year old girl, I knew this was not good. So, being the decent child that I am, I took the 3 pairs of "underwear" into the bathroom and stood there for about 5 minutes to give the illusion that I was trying them on (I wasn't). After enough time had passed I walked back into the office and stated that they simply did not fit and I needed my own underwear and jumper from home. My mom finally came and gave me some new clothes, and I got cleaned up and ready for a fucking hot dog.

And guess what?

Foiled again. No delicious hot dog for Pee-Pants Mcgee. I took it in stride though, I had been through enough that day. I thought this would be the end of my hot dog day problems, but it wasn't.

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And for those of you who are sick of hearing about hot dog day (I know I am!) go check me out at Mushroom Printing, where I give a tip of the hat to my rodent friends.

Hot Dog Day Part One

When I was a child, we had Hot Dog Day at school. I believe it was a Tuesday (probably one of the reasons I like Tuesdays so much as an adult). Hot dog day was fantastic. You could get hot dogs (duh), chips, chili, and probably some other stuff that didn't matter like drinks and fruit and stuff. But, obviously, the hot dogs and chili were the best. Some bold (read: awesome) kids even got a chili dog, which was like 25 cents extra. I preferred my chili separate.

I would get one hot dog with ketchup and mayo (because I'm a mayonnaise-loving fatty), and a small cup of chili with a dollop of sour cream, chopped onions, and shredded cheddar cheese on top. Oh yeah, those were the days.

But hot dog day wasn't always a good day, my friends. No. It came with it's price.

The first hot dog day incident happened when I was in kindergarten. Since I love food so much, and obviously cannot contain myself to wait in any sort of "line", I ran to the glorious hot dogs as fast as my little legs could go. This resulted in my falling down an entire flight of stairs within the school building. Nobody was around, and surprisingly, I didn't feel that hurt. I got up, dusted off my ugly-ass Catholic school jumper, and ran to the Hot Dog Room (also known as the gym to big kids).

I got in line, my eyes wide at the sight of the delicious hot dogs, only to be startled by the screaming that ensued all around me. Apparently, the fall that I had sustained had been worse than I thought, and not only was I bleeding profusely from both knees, but I tracked puddles of blood into the immaculate Hot Dog Room. The other kindergartners were making a huge fuss so the teacher came over. She took one look at me, blood all over my white button up shirt, jumper, white knee socks, and Keds, took my hand and dragged me straight to the office, where I was promptly cleaned and bandaged up. By the time it was all over, I missed out on hot dog day all together, and had to eat some crappy peanut butter sandwich that one of the hot dog ladies made for me.

I went back to the Hot Dog Room afterward to see if there was possibly one stale or mushy hot dog that didn't get eaten that I could have. No such luck. They were, however, impressed at the amount of blood that they had to clean off of the floor. I was denied any hot dogs until the following Tuesday, and had to stave off my cravings all week. This was my first hot dog day injury, but it certainly wouldn't be my last, oh no sir. The next one would find me in the emergency room. I bet you can't wait to find out why.

Regression

Since I've moved back in with my parents, I totally feel like a teenager again. Its kinda crazy. I'm really not sure if it's a coincidence of if I'm actually regressing back to my ridiculous teenage self. I happen to be coming down with a cold, but that aside, I spent the entire day in my pajamas, eating tacos and doing homework. I ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast (yes.) and last night for a snack. All I want to do is go out and drink and take drugs and be irresponsible. Also, I have these crazy giddy school-girl crush feelings for my boyfriend (even when I think of him as my boyfriend I get all butterfly-y).

Maybe I should throw a toga party. Teenagers do that right? Whatever.

Let's see...there are a few things that I missed out on as an awkward and emo teen that I would like to make happen. A keg stand. I'd like to do a keg stand. A beer bong. That would be cool. I have this sinking feeling that I just can't chug beer that fast, but I guess that is to be determined. Also, drinking games are really appealing to me right now. This all seems to be alcohol-related. Hmmm...

Oh my god, I just Googled "Things to do as a teenager" for the hell of it and got the stupidest shit ever. "Dance like nobody is watching!". How romantic. Fucking shoot me in the head. No, that's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for "Take shrooms and wander around at the state park" or "See how many times you can masturbate in 24 hours" or "Get unbelievably high and listen to Dark Side of the Moon synced up with the Wizard of OZ". Because teenagers totally do that. Am I getting old? That seemed like an old person thing to say.

Ok, I just came across something that looks promising, but sadly, is also legal. It's called the "Banana and Sprite Challenge". Apparently, it is physically impossible to eat two bananas and drink two sprites without puking. I'm pretty sure that there is not any real science between this, and that it's purely psychosomatic...but there I am being a grown up again!

Well, back to homework, but believe you me, there will be shenanigans this winter break.

We're All Mad Here

Well, I've spent all weekend acting like a teenage boy as per normal since I have been single. Here's the the rub though: 12 hours from now, I have to suit up in my business-casual with my pressed white lab coat and name tag, wearing makeup, hair neat and shiny, and pretend to be a professional person. Technically, I AM a professional, but I feel like a total fraud. I mean, come on.

So, panic attacks about finances, school info, crazy patients, lack of social life, and just plain not knowing anything all over again, are sure to ensue again. Actually they've already started. I hate feeling like I don't know anything. I am completely terrified to do this. And this time I feel like I'm going it alone.

Also, I'm not going to be living with my parents. I just can't do it, for a number of reasons that I can't even discuss right now. I man, I love them to death but I just can't live there. So, this means that money is going to be tight. Really tight. REALLY TIGHT. So, I gotta find a new place to live ASAP. A cheap place.

Also, I figure that maybe once I finally lose my mind, maybe I'll feel better. Like, I just wont care anymore. Maybe once I finally crack, it will be almost like a state of enlightenment. I'll just sit there with a goofy grin on my face and go through the motions and I won't feel a thing.

Vacation

I am officially leaving for vacation in one week, and I cannot wait. It's not a glamorous vacation to, say, the Cayman Islands, but I'm excited nonetheless. Every year, since as long as I can remember (and even before that), my family has rented a cabin in a little place called Strawberry, California. And by little I mean population, like, 150. My mom's family has been going to Strawberry since she was little. In fact, my parents took their pregnancy test right there in the cabin that produced yours truly.

So, in Strawberry, it's my extended family taking up about 2 cabins, and some close family friends (all three generations each) taking up 2 more cabins, and then another family that we met at Strawberry many years ago in 1 cabin. We pretty much take over. There is a river, horseshoes, campfire area, and trails, and a pool that I love to hang out at and read/swim laps. Then, about a mile down the mountain is Pinecrest Lake, where we go almost everyday for hiking, kayaking, and swimming.

The smell of the pine trees is already luring me in. I went to the library today and picked up my giant nerd-sized pile of books to read by the pool/ on the porch as I laze about and soak up some rays....ohhh yeahhh.

So now the only thing is that I need to do like a million things before I leave so that when I come back, I won't be as overwhelmed (haha yeah right). I do always like to come home to a clean apartment though, and I got lots of errands to do/buisiness to take care of for school.

Not on vacation yet! I gotta get back to work...