Thursday, December 2, 2010

Hot Dog Day Part Deux

I've decided that my hot dog day follies are going to become a series. Enjoy part deux. It is my favorite of the series, and I hope it becomes yours too.

You may enjoy part one here

The second hot dog incident was worse than the first one. I was in first grade. Same love for hot dog day, same dumb jumper and knee socks. My class had just finished a rousing game of kickball, when I realized that I really needed to pee. "I better go RIGHT NOW", I thought "Or I won't get a good spot in the hot dog line!" Well, right then, the bell rang. The bell signifying that it was time. Hot dog time, mothafuckers. I happened to be very close to the Almighty Hot Dog Room, and I could see the other kids running at full speed towards me with reckless abandon. I couldn't go pee now. I had made a choice. I was going to be, like, the 3rd person in the hot dog line! That had never happened to me! Oh happy day! I got in line, and noticed that my urge to urinate was becoming a border-line emergency. The hot dog gals were taking FOREVER setting up the stations. I waited for like 5 minutes in line, and then it happened. I peed. In my jumper. In the Hot Dog Room. In line. I immediately ran out before anyone had noticed what had happened and straight to the office.

I didn't want to admit to the office lady that I had peed my pants, but I didn't really have a choice. Time was ticking and the hot dogs were getting cold. I whimpered and looked pathetic and asked to call my mom for a new jumper (it was pretty obvious what had gone down). Now, here's the weird part. Instead of just calling my mom and getting me a fresh pair of undies from home (no, no...that would be TOOOO easy!) the office lady suggested that I try on one of the pairs of underwear that she had "just lying around the office"


There are multiple things that concerned me here. Namely; 1) why the hell were pairs of underwear just LYING around in the school office and B) why were there MULTIPLE pairs?

What the hell?

Even as a 6 year old girl, I knew this was not good. So, being the decent child that I am, I took the 3 pairs of "underwear" into the bathroom and stood there for about 5 minutes to give the illusion that I was trying them on (I wasn't). After enough time had passed I walked back into the office and stated that they simply did not fit and I needed my own underwear and jumper from home. My mom finally came and gave me some new clothes, and I got cleaned up and ready for a fucking hot dog.

And guess what?

Foiled again. No delicious hot dog for Pee-Pants Mcgee. I took it in stride though, I had been through enough that day. I thought this would be the end of my hot dog day problems, but it wasn't.

Sometimes, people just deserve it.
And for those of you who are sick of hearing about hot dog day (I know I am!) go check me out at Mushroom Printing, where I give a tip of the hat to my rodent friends.

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