My Pathetic Blog: The Sequel You Never Wanted to See Happen

...And by "you" of course, I mean my imagination (because I am the only person who reads this stupid thing).  But if I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times; my sole purpose on the internet is to entertain myself (and occasionally to google pictures of terrible infectious diseases of the genitals-for work of course-but that also kind of doubles as entertainment).

So here we are again, dear voices in my head, writing our blog.  Ahhh, blog.  Web log.  Captain's log, if you will.  For I am the captain of this ship called the H.M.S. Boredom currently sailing the high blustery seas of Insanity.  The sea is a cruel mistress.

Anyway, remember that terribly butthurt post that I wrote a few years ago?  You know? This one? Also, remember that guy? The one that became my boyfriend? Well that butt hurt post was about him.  The night I met him I came home and typed my disappointment into my "blog" (I might as well have been blasting Dashboard Confessional and layering on some bad eyeliner) about how he didn't ask for my number or even acknowledge me as I left the party except for a half-hearted wave goodbye.

Well, I ended up marrying that dude.  He still hasn't figured out I'm off my rocker.  Maybe he will start reading the blog and then he will know.

So realistically, this will be my GREAT TRIUMPHANT BLOG UPDATE OF 2013 and then I wont write in it again for a year and a half, but here's to hoping I will FINALY get my shit together (I've been saying that for years, I don't think it will ever happen).

So for now, I'm heading off to another work week where I handle people's infected junk all day (literally) and try to get the kids to use some fucking condoms for once.

Adios for now

My Pathetic "Blog"

I've just now remembered that I have a "blog" (I feel so stupid saying that), and that I haven't updated it since December. I was reading my December posts and realized that I was writing about all of my traumatic Hot Dog Day experiences as a small child. Since I am obviously over it, I will sum up the last two in a nutshell (I realize that nobody cares to hear them, but I'm pretty sure I am a little OCD about finishing shit like this...you know, stupid stories that I write in my "blog")

So anyway, you can read the first two here and here.

So the next horrible thing that happened was that I was playing tether ball on Hot Dog Day, slid my butt down on a terribly dangerous wooden bench that was falling apart and got a 4 inch shard of wood (does wood come in shards? I think this was definitely a shard) lodged in my thigh. Had to get it removed in the ER. Missed my beloved hot dog. ALSO I missed burritos for dinner that night...don't even get me started with ER wait times. That's a WHOLE other blog post right there.

Last terrible Hot Dog Day story (I swear). 4th grade boys. Hot dog eating challenge. Mile run in P.E. after lunch. Big horrible mess. Never felt the same about Hot Dog Day again.

Orange ya glad that's over? (I know I am).

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"So," you must be asking, "what the hell has been going on with you since December??". Well I will tell you, then we can all get on with our lives;

1. Grad School continues (just started the 3rd semester)
2. Moved in with The Boyfriend (we are "in love")
3. Started playing Roller Derby (aka I get the shit beat out of me 2-3 nights a week)
4. Got a puppy (Her name is Regina, she is adorable, and she was very sick as a small puppy, so I am in the hole a little bit after all the vet bills)

So there's your update.


NEXT!

A brief (or probably long) intermission from hot dog day stories

I have just officially finished the first semester of grad school. Jim Beam and I are going to be very happy together for the next couple of hours. I decided today that it was time for us to move past our rough times...I mean that was what, 10 years ago? I think that we are both adults here and can get along just fine after getting to know a little bit more about ourselves over the years.

That being said, it's time to PARTY!!! I still have work in the morning, so the party won't really start until tomorrow night, but the mental party has already started. And by mental party, of course I mean insanity.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go have some private time with Mr. Beam.